Scene 2 begins back in the meeting room. ALL are assembled (with JOHN still off to the side, watching). HENRY is reading
HENRY:
Twelve. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. And I'm Henry, and I'm an alcoholic.
ALL:
Hi, Henry
JO:
I'm Jo and I'm an alcoholic
ALL:
Hi, Jo.
JO:
I want to thank Henry for reading the steps tonight. Welcome to the regular Friday night meeting of the Lambda group of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank all of you for letting me chair tonight. This is my first time, and I'm a little nervous. I know we all have a lot to talk about after this week, but I want to start off with a little bit on step twelve. Almost a year ago, this group carried the message to me. Over the last year, and especially the last few weeks, I've watched and learned as we have all continued our spiritual awakening, and practiced these principals in all our affairs. I'm grateful for all of you, and for this program.
BOB:
My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic
ALL:
Hi, Bob
BOB:
When my mother died a few weeks ago I didn't feel anything at first. Then later, when I let myself feel the grief, it was a relief to know that I could feel something, that I cared. The grief was part of the connection I still had to my mother. But there's more to the connection than that. Sometimes I feel like she's right here with me. At first I thought that might be crazy, but then I "sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God and I understand Him", like the step says, and realized that maybe acknowledging that my mother's spirit was still with me wasn't crazy. Maybe it was part of how my understanding of God was changing, part of my spiritual awakening. And there were people at these meetings who had been through the same thing, and they could say to me "I've been there, I know". And I knew there must be something that they held onto that I could hold onto as well. I physically felt people praying for me, sending me their love. I just let it all soak in. Today I'm really grateful that I can look at you, Bill, and say "I've been there, I know" and to have some of that love and caring to send your way right now.
BOB sings "I Thought About You"
BOB:
I thought about you once or twice today
About how good it'd be to talk
And things I'd like to say.
I would have tried to call you on the phone
But that line's been disconnected
And there's no one left at home anyway.
Still I thought of you today
And I guess it's good to talk to you that way.
And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.
I'm not quite sure exactly where you've gone
I just know sometimes I still feel you near
Sometimes I feel alone.
But I'm glad to know we had so much to share
And as the world around me changes
I'll find another way to care, anyway
Still I thought of you today
And I know it's good to talk to you that way.
And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.
Yes, I'm glad we've had the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.
RONNY:
My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic
ALL:
Hi, Ronny
RONNY:
At John's funeral, I looked around at everybody there and I got really scared. I have the same virus. So many of my friends have the same virus. I looked at the group standing around John's grave and I wondered, "Who's next?" Then I remembered what we talked about in the meeting a few weeks back, about choosing to live, one day at a time. It made my fear go away. Yes, I have AIDS, but I'm alive, today. That's all that counts. Today. Last night, I dreamed about my friend Holly. She's been living with AIDS, too, but she hasn't been doing as well as me. In the dream I was walking up a hill, through some trees. I came to a clearing with a big green lawn, and flower beds. There was this huge mansion on top of the hill, bigger than Biltmore, bigger than Buckingham palace, and there were mobs and mobs of people in front of the house. Then my friend Holly came out of the crowd, and walked toward me. She looked beautiful. She was smiling, and her skin was glowing, and the sun was shining through her hair. She came up to me and grabbed my arms and said "Ronny! I've been waiting for you for so long! Let me show you around!" And I looked at her and said "Holly, it's such a big house, there are so many people!" And then I woke up. I knew what the dream meant. Holly was dead. I was a little glad she said she'd been waiting for me a long time. I'm not ready to go. Not yet. But I needed to know for sure about Holly, so this morning I called Holly's mother, to see what was going on. Mrs. Wood told me that Holly had died last night. Something told me to tell her about the dream. When I finished, she said "What did you say in the dream again?" and I told her "It's such a big house, there are so many people." Mrs. Wood said, "Ronny, Holly has been going in and out of consciousness for a few days now. I've been staying by her side in the hospital. Last night, about 2 o'clock, she opened her eyes and looked straight at me. She said 'Mama, it's such a big house, there are so many people'. Then she smiled at me, and closed her eyes, and she was gone." I didn't know what to say to Holly's mom. I told her what a special friend Holly had been. Mrs. Wood asked me about the quilt, the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. She asked me if I could make a panel for Holly. I told her it would be my honor to remember my friend that way.
RONNY sings "Holly Wood, reprise"
RONNY:
And I sew these words on scraps of cotton
My friend will never be forgotten
And on the quilt, your picture, and your name
Memories of childhood dreams of fame
You'll always be a star, you always should
'Cause if anyone would be my friend
I know, that Holly Wood.
BILL sings "Rise Again" (with HENRY and JO)
BILL:
The flowers on the Texas hills
Are gone before their time
The spring rains came too late
Bluebonnets withered in their prime
I stare out at the thunderstorm
Breaking on this April morn
And know there must be seeds that wait
Another spring to climb
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The spring will rise again
And find more bluebonnets to bloom inside
To fill the Texas wind.
BILL, HENRY and JO:
You'd lost the strength to fight for life
You told me with a sigh
I had no strength to offer you
No easy answers why
I wanted with my soul that night
To beg you please to try and fight
But all that I could say was
"Just be willing for what goes by"
And I never had the slightest doubt
Your light would rise again
And find another smile to shine inside
Another day my friend.
BILL:
It seemed there was no sunlight left
When I knew you were gone
The clouds had brought the dark too soon
The rain was raging on
But as my grief became most chilling
I heard my own words, "Just be willing (just be willing)"
And I turned my drying eyes to greet the dawn
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The sun will rise.........again.
And find another sky to shine inside.
For you and me, my friend.
HENRY:
OK, not wanting to be disrespectful or anything, but I thought I was the only one John talked to about going off his meds. He told me not to tell anybody, not even Bill.
JO:
Oh, my God. He had the same conversation with me.
HENRY:
Anybody else?
The rest of the cast raises their hands.
HENRY:
He's watching this, you know. And he's enjoying every second.
BOB:
He always did love a practical joke.
BILL:
I think he wanted to make each of us feel special. You know how much he loved this group.
Lights down on all but JO as she comes downstage center for her monologue.
JO:
- My name is Jo and I'm an alcoholic. (wait) What's there to say? You've all seen my story. My husband went out drinking, and I stayed home and drank. When he came home, he beat me up. Oh, it wasn't always like that. At first it was romantic and fun. Then we got married. He didn't want to be romantic any more once we were living together. So I watched soap operas for my romance, and drank. He'd come home drunk, and he'd slap me around a little, or a lot, then he'd be real sorry and try to make it up by being sexy. Of course, I felt REAL sexy with a bloody nose and a busted lip. Sometimes he would skip the romance, and he'd just rape me. I kept thinking, maybe if I dressed better he won't get mad. Maybe if I cooked a better dinner he won't get mad. I've learned in this program that his getting mad and acting out had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do. But I AM responsible for whether or not I'm a victim. Thank God Henry helped me get out of there. So how did I get here, to the Lambda group? Now I know it was God. My husband had been arrested twice for drunk driving. The judge made him go to ten A.A. meetings. I went with him to the first one, so I knew a little bit about what the program was. When I finally did call the A.A. number to find out where a meeting was, where I wouldn't run into my husband, I got Henry on the phone. She told me about this gay meeting. I figured I'd be safe there. Pretty soon, though, this group became my family and I didn't feel like there were any differences. Gay, straight, whatever, we're all just trying to find our way. I go to other meetings, but this is my home group. I love them. I've learned so much from Ronny, and Bob, and Jan and Carole, and especially from Henry, and from John..... Right now I'm learning a lot from Bill. He's not just staying sober through all this, he's staying OK. There's a part in the A.A. Big Book where it says to newcomers "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it..." I want what Bill has. I want that kind of faith and that kind of love. The miracle is, I'm finding it. It's here, inside me. My friends in this group are helping me see it. Thanks.
JAN:
I have known you forever
CAROLE:
We have just been introduced
JAN:
Our love is binding us tighter
CAROLE:
Our hearts have been unloosed
JAN and CAROLE:
Love is deeper than the ocean
Higher than the sky
And when we say "hello"
Inside we know
We also say "goodbye"
So don't take me for granted
Don't take me away
Just take me to heart
And love me today
We are the same and equal
We are opposite, apart
We take love from each other
We give away our heart
We're too brave to show our feelings
Too afraid to hide
We look for love
Around, above
And find it deep inside
And I won't take you for granted
I won't take you away
I'll take you to heart
And love you today.
JO:
I want to thank everyone for a good meeting. Feel free to stay around after the meeting for coffee and fellowship. We meet here every night, and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Let's close the meeting in the usual way. Ronny, can you lead us?
RONNY:
Who's father?
ALL:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
ALL sing "Phoenix - reprise" in the following order:
BILL:
As the way I've passed grows longer
The way to go grows small
JO:
I leave behind bad memories
Of the times when I did fall
CAROLE:
I bring along a gentle voice,
A loving smile, a friend
JOHN (joining the group):
Heading for the sunrise
At my journey's end
ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane
RONNY:
Today the road seems long
But soon I will be home
JAN:
The tension in my shoulders
Slowly eases, now it's gone
HENRY:
I leave old things behind me
And I'm welcoming the new
BOB:
Inside I find all I need
To do what I must do
ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane
ALL:
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever, amen.
Keep coming back, it works!
ALL sing "Phoenix - Finale":
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane
The End
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