6. Act III, scene 1

Act III, scene 1

Transition into Act III with ALL singing Blessing (Us)

ALL:
Spirit of love, surround us.
Spirit of joy, sustain us.
Spirit of hope, call us onward.
Spirit of life, bring us home.
Spirit of life, bring us home.

or at http://youtu.be/X7WjP0Xzkgo

Lighting zeros in on JOHN and BILL

JOHN continues singing, changing to Blessing.  BILL sings echoes in the song

 

or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmzQttoy-NM&feature=youtu.be

JOHN:
Spirit of love, surround me. 
BILL:
(surround you)
JOHN:
Spirit of joy, sustain me
BILL:
(sustain you)
JOHN:
Spirit of hope, call me onward.
BILL:
(call you onward)
JOHN:
Spirit of life, bring me home.
BILL:
Spirit of life, bring you home.

JOHN and BILL embrace.  Lights down on JOHN and BILL, up on CAROLE as she moves downstage center for her monologue.

CAROLE:

• My name is Carole and I'm an alcoholic (wait)  I've been in the program for four years, but I've only got six months of continuous sobriety.  I shouldn't say "only".  I'm proud of those six months.  Bob, my sponsor, says we only have one day at a time.  I had ten months the first time, but it didn't make any difference when I took that first drink.  This time feels different, though, because I'm doing it for me.  I started A.A. because Jan  was in A.A., and I was in love.  Then I stayed in and stayed sober so the people in the group would like me.  Anything to be popular, right?  Trouble was, when I ran into my old drinking friends, I wanted to be popular with them, too.  When Bob finally got me to do my inventory, I realized that all my life being popular has been the most important thing.  I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid things wouldn't work out with Jan, so I tried to keep other options open.  I'm not proud of that, but I've learned from it.  I have to work the steps every day.  Just because I ask God to remove my faults, doesn't mean they won't try to come back.  Right now I'm really afraid for my friend John.  Bob says I shouldn't judge, just accept.  But something like AIDS is pretty hard to accept.  I've tried to find out as much as I can about AIDS.  Jan and I joined a support group that visits people with AIDS who can't get out, and helps out with stuff like housework and groceries.  People at work said "Aren't you afraid you'll catch it?" but I told them I'm a lot more afraid of looking at myself in the mirror if I don't do what I can to help others.  One thing I've gotten out of all this is a real appreciation of what I have with Jan.  We're even talking about having some kind of a commitment ceremony or something. Time is short.  None of us know how much we have.  I don't want to waste any more of OUR time on things that don't matter.  you can't take life for granted.  We can't take each other for granted.  I'm glad I'm sober.  I like myself now.  Thank you.

Lights down on CAROLE, as she returns to the group. General lighting up.

HENRY: (reading)
Ten.  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.  Eleven.  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him.  Twelve.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps....

JO:
I feel like I'm waking up, spiritually.

HENRY:
My spiritual alarm clock keeps going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.

JOHN:
I'm just taking it a day at a time

BOB:
A day at a time

CAROLE:
A day at a time

BILL:
A day at a time. Each day is so precious.

JAN:
We're planning the commitment ceremony for three months from now

BOB:
Mama died yesterday

JO:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name

JOHN:
I'm thinking of stopping all my medicines

BOB:
The funeral is this Friday

JAN:
The commitment ceremony is next week

BILL:
John really wants to see the bluebonnets blooming one last time.  But they've all wilted from the drought.

RONNY:
He said he wanted to stop all his medicines.  He told me not to tell anyone else.

JOHN:
Now I lay me down to sleep

JO:
Hallowed be thy name

HENRY:
Jan and Carole's ceremony was so beautiful

CAROLE:
The service for Bob's mom was so beautiful

JO:
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven

BILL:
John is back in the hospital.  I think this is it.

HENRY:
He said he wanted to stop all his medicines.  He told me not to tell anybody else.

BOB:
I didn't know what to say to John.  I told him to just be willing to accept whatever happens

BILL:
Just be willing

RONNY:
Just be willing

HENRY:
Just be willing

BOB:
I feel like she's still around

RONNY:
I'm so sad for John, and for my friend Holly. 

JO:
Give us this day

JOHN:
This day

BILL:
This day

JAN :
This day - we can't take it for granted

CAROLE:
It's all we've got

BILL:
He's gone off all medicines and refused life support.  It's what he wants.

JOHN:
I pray the Lord my soul will keep

RONNY:
I keep dreaming about her.  It's like she's here with me.

BILL:
And he asked me if it was all right if he just let go

JOHN:
If I should die before I wake

JO:
Give us this day our daily bread

HENRY:
Just be willing

BOB:
It's like she's still here with me.  Like she's not really gone.

JOHN:
I pray the Lord my soul will take.

BILL:
Just be willing

Stage goes black.  JOHN exits, and comes back bringing flowers and candles for each of the other actors as CAROLE recites Psalm 100.  Spotlight on CAROLE.  JOHN remains on stage for the rest of the play, off to the side, watching.

CAROLE:
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.  Serve the Lord with gladness.  Come before His presence with singing.  Know ye that the Lord, he is God.  It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves.  We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.  Be thankful unto him, and bless His name.  For the Lord is good.  His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endureth to all generations. 

Spotlight off CAROLE.  Intro music begins for "Our Father".  JO lights her candle, which she uses to light the next character's candle and then holds in front of her face as she sings.  During the song, the other characters pass the flame around and slowly join in the song.  NOTE:  The song should crescendo on "Give us this day our daily bread" and the next few lines, and then one by one the other actors drop out of the song, leaving JO to sing the last lines alone (For the kingdom...)

JO and CAST:

Or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHDfLOm3-X4&feature=youtu.be

Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil

Instrumental continues.  BOB speaks these lines as cast members hum:

BOB: (speaking)
Lord, hold John in your hands.  Grant us strength, hope and love as we continue to follow your path.

JO: (singing)
For the kingdom, and the power and the glory are yours
Now and forever, amen.

ALL:
Amen

All throw their flowers to the center of the circle, and blow out their candles.

Spotlight on JOHN, who sings "I'll Still Be Here". 

Or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s26zTLsLS3k&feature=youtu.be

JOHN:
I know I said someday I'd leave
But I never could, you must believe

The first warm day of spring, I'll be here
When the mockingbird sings, I'll still be here
He'll be whistling along, with a voice clear and strong
You'll hear one of my songs, and I'll be here

And as the flowers grow, I'll be here
Yes I want you to know, I'll still be here
And when the irises bloom, with their sweet perfume
In your heart find some room and I'll be here

When you're walking through my garden
The daylilies glistening with dew
I will still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you.

And when the crape myrtle fades, I'll be here
In every seed that they've made I'll still be here
And when the pink blossoms fall from the hollyhocks so tall
In a flash of recall, I'll still be here

And in the autumn chill I'll be here
You must know that I will, I'll still be here
And at Christmas you'll see, when you're trimming the tree
Hang a seashell for me and I'll be here

In the colors of each sunset
And by the fireplace when evening is through
I will still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you

And when you sew my panel for the quilt
Make it purple and teal and sky blue
And I'll still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you

I know I said someday I'd leave
But I never could, you must believe.

End of Act III scene 1

7. Act III scene 2

ACT III scene 2

Scene 2 begins back in the meeting room.  ALL are assembled (with JOHN still off to the side, watching).  HENRY is reading

HENRY:
Twelve.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.  And I'm Henry, and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:
Hi, Henry

JO:
I'm Jo and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Jo.

JO:
I want to thank Henry for reading the steps tonight.  Welcome to the regular Friday night meeting of the Lambda group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Thank all of you for letting me chair tonight.  This is my first time, and I'm a little nervous.  I know we all have a lot to talk about after this week, but I want to start off with a little bit on step twelve.  Almost a year ago, this group carried the message to me.  Over the last year, and especially the last few weeks, I've watched and learned as we have all continued our spiritual awakening, and practiced these principals in all our affairs.  I'm grateful for all of you, and for this program. 

BOB:
My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Bob

BOB:
When my mother died a few weeks ago I didn't feel anything at first.  Then later, when I let myself feel the grief, it was a relief to know that I could feel something, that I cared.  The grief was part of the connection I still had to my mother.  But there's more to the connection than that.  Sometimes I feel like she's right here with me.  At first I thought that might be crazy, but then I "sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God and I understand Him", like the step says, and realized that maybe acknowledging that my mother's spirit was still with me wasn't crazy.  Maybe it was part of how my understanding of God was changing, part of my spiritual awakening.    And there were people at these meetings who had been through the same thing, and they could say to me "I've been there, I know".  And I knew there must be something that they held onto that I could hold onto as well.  I physically felt people praying for me, sending me their love.  I just let it all soak in.  Today I'm really grateful that I can look at you, Bill, and say "I've been there, I know" and to have some of that love and caring to send your way right now.

BOB sings "I Thought About You"

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTazjkv5_2A&feature=youtu.be  

BOB:
I thought about you once or twice today
About how good it'd be to talk
And things I'd like to say.
I would have tried to call you on the phone
But that line's been disconnected
And there's no one left at home anyway.
Still I thought of you today
And I guess it's good to talk to you that way.

And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.

I'm not quite sure exactly where you've gone
I just know sometimes I still feel you near
Sometimes I feel alone.
But I'm glad to know we had so much to share
And as the world around me changes
I'll find another way to care, anyway
Still I thought of you today
And I know it's good to talk to you that way.

And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.
Yes, I'm glad we've had the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.

RONNY:
My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Ronny

RONNY:
At John's funeral, I looked around at everybody there and I got really scared.  I have the same virus.  So many of my friends have the same virus.  I looked at the group standing around John's grave and I wondered, "Who's next?"  Then I remembered what we talked about in the meeting a few weeks back, about choosing to live, one day at a time.  It made my fear go away.  Yes, I have AIDS, but I'm alive, today.  That's all that counts.  Today.  Last night, I dreamed about my friend Holly.  She's been living with AIDS, too, but she hasn't been doing as well as me.  In the dream I was walking up a hill, through some trees.  I came to a clearing with a big green lawn, and flower beds.  There was this huge mansion on top of the hill, bigger than Biltmore, bigger than Buckingham palace, and there were mobs and mobs of people in front of the house.  Then my friend Holly came out of the crowd, and walked toward me.  She looked beautiful.  She was smiling, and her skin was glowing, and the sun was shining through her hair.  She came up to me and grabbed my arms and said "Ronny!   I've been waiting for you for so long!  Let me show you around!"  And I looked at her and said "Holly, it's such a big house, there are so many people!"  And then I woke up.  I knew what the dream meant.  Holly was dead.  I was a little glad she said she'd been waiting for me a long time.  I'm not ready to go.  Not yet.  But I needed to know for sure about Holly, so this morning I called Holly's mother, to see what was going on.  Mrs. Wood told me that Holly had died last night.  Something told me to tell her about the dream.  When I finished, she said "What did you say in the dream again?" and I told her "It's such a big house, there are so many people."  Mrs. Wood said, "Ronny, Holly has been going in and out of consciousness for a few days now.  I've been staying by her side in the hospital.  Last night, about 2 o'clock, she opened her eyes and looked straight at me.  She said 'Mama, it's such a big house, there are so many people'.  Then she smiled at me, and closed her eyes, and she was gone." I didn't know what to say to Holly's mom.  I told her what a special friend Holly had been.  Mrs. Wood asked me about the quilt, the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt.  She asked me if I could make a panel for Holly.  I told her it would be my honor to remember my friend that way.

RONNY sings "Holly Wood, reprise"

Or view at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIrDl2wZB_k&feature=youtu.be  

RONNY:
And I sew these words on scraps of cotton
My friend will never be forgotten
And on the quilt, your picture, and your name
Memories of childhood dreams of fame
You'll always be a star, you always should
'Cause if anyone would be my friend
I know, that Holly Wood.

BILL sings "Rise Again" (with HENRY and JO)

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIkNfNr43AU&feature=youtu.be

BILL:
The flowers on the Texas hills
Are gone before their time
The spring rains came too late
Bluebonnets withered in their prime
I stare out at the thunderstorm
Breaking on this April morn
And know there must be seeds that wait
Another spring to climb
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The spring will rise again
And find more bluebonnets to bloom inside
To fill the Texas wind.

BILL, HENRY and JO:
You'd lost the strength to fight for life
You told me with a sigh
I had no strength to offer you
No easy answers why
I wanted with my soul that night
To beg you please to try and fight
But all that I could say was
"Just be willing for what goes by"
And I never had the slightest doubt
Your light would rise again
And find another smile to shine inside
Another day my friend.

BILL:
It seemed there was no sunlight left
When I knew you were gone
The clouds had brought the dark too soon
The rain was raging on
But as my grief became most chilling
I heard my own words, "Just be willing (just be willing)"
And I turned my drying eyes to greet the dawn
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The sun will rise.........again.
And find another sky to shine inside.
For you and me, my friend.

HENRY:
OK, not wanting to be disrespectful or anything, but I thought I was the only one John talked to about going off his meds.  He told me not to tell anybody, not even Bill.

JO:
Oh, my God.  He had the same conversation with me.

HENRY:
Anybody else?

The rest of the cast raises their hands.

HENRY:
He's watching this, you know.  And he's enjoying every second.

BOB:
He always did love a practical joke. 

BILL:
I think he wanted to make each of us feel special.  You know how much he loved this group.

Lights down on all but JO as she comes downstage center for her monologue.

JO:

• My name is Jo and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  What's there to say?  You've all seen my story.  My husband went out drinking, and I stayed home and drank.  When he came home, he beat me up.  Oh, it wasn't always like that.  At first it was romantic and fun.  Then we got married.  He didn't want to be romantic any more once we were living together.  So I watched soap operas for my romance, and drank.  He'd come home drunk, and he'd slap me around a little, or a lot, then he'd be real sorry and try to make it up by being sexy.  Of course, I felt REAL sexy with a bloody nose and a busted lip.  Sometimes he would skip the romance, and he'd just rape me.  I kept thinking, maybe if I dressed better he won't get mad.  Maybe if I cooked a better dinner he won't get mad.  I've learned in this program that his getting mad and acting out had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do.  But I AM responsible for whether or not I'm a victim.  Thank God Henry helped me get out of there.  So how did I get here, to the Lambda group?  Now I know it was God.  My husband had been arrested twice for drunk driving.  The judge made him go to ten A.A. meetings.  I went with him to the first one, so I knew a little bit about what the program was.  When I finally did call the A.A. number to find out where a meeting was, where I wouldn't run into my husband, I got Henry on the phone.  She told me about this gay meeting.  I figured I'd be safe there.  Pretty soon, though, this group became my family and I didn't feel like there were any differences.  Gay, straight, whatever, we're all just trying to find our way.  I go to other meetings, but this is my home group.  I love them.  I've learned so much from Ronny, and Bob, and Jan and Carole, and especially from Henry, and from John.....  Right now I'm learning a lot from Bill.  He's not just staying sober through all this, he's staying OK.  There's a part in the A.A. Big Book where it says to newcomers "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it..."  I want what Bill has.  I want that kind of faith and that kind of love.  The miracle is, I'm finding it.  It's here, inside me.  My friends in this group are helping me see it.  Thanks.

JO returns to the group.  Lights come back up, JAN and CAROLE sing "Don't Take Me for Granted" to each other.

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR41_lZDjvE&feature=youtu.be

JAN:
I have known you forever

CAROLE:
We have just been introduced

JAN:
Our love is binding us tighter

CAROLE:
Our hearts have been unloosed

JAN and CAROLE:
Love is deeper than the ocean
Higher than the sky
And when we say "hello"
Inside we know
We also say "goodbye"

So don't take me for granted
Don't take me away
Just take me to heart
And love me today

We are the same and equal
We are opposite, apart
We take love from each other
We give away our heart
We're too brave to show our feelings
Too afraid to hide
We look for love
Around, above
And find it deep inside

And I won't take you for granted
I won't take you away
I'll take you to heart
And love you today.

JO:
I want to thank everyone for a good meeting.  Feel free to stay around after the meeting for coffee and fellowship.  We meet  here every night, and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.  Let's close the meeting in the usual way.  Ronny, can you lead us?

RONNY:
Who's father?

ALL:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...

ALL sing "Phoenix - reprise" in the following order:

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMPFdSyfeWI&feature=youtu.be

BILL:
As the way I've passed grows longer
The way to go grows small

JO:
I leave behind bad memories
Of the times when I did fall

CAROLE:
I bring along a gentle voice,
A loving smile, a friend

JOHN (joining the group):
Heading for the sunrise
At my journey's end

ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

RONNY:
Today the road seems long
But soon I will be home

JAN:
The tension in my shoulders
Slowly eases, now it's gone

HENRY:
I leave old things behind me
And I'm welcoming the new

BOB:
Inside I find all I need
To do what I must do

ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

ALL:
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever, amen.

Keep coming back, it works!

ALL sing "Phoenix - Finale":

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=192msJ8BMSc&feature=youtu.be

And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

The End

5. Act II, scene 2

Act II, Scene 2

Lights up to full.  Group is assembled for the meeting

BILL:
      My name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
      Hi, Bill.

BILL:
      And this is the regular Tuesday night open discussion meeting of the Lambda Group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I'd like to thank Jan and Ronny for doing the readings.  Does anyone have an urgent topic they need to discuss?   (wait)  If not, then for tonight's topic I wanted to talk about spirituality.  I know that scares a lot of people.  It did me.  I didn't want any part of religion at all.  So I've been sort of working around that part of A.A.  It wasn't until some real crises started happening to me and to someone I love very much that I realized I was starting to rely on some kind of outside power to help handle them.  It isn't really religion, but more of a feeling that there was something inside me that I had been turning off, like a light switch, and maybe there was a higher power or some form of God out there, and in here.  The twelve steps talk about "God as we understand Him".  So maybe that's how I understand him.  It's like a feeling that keeps saying "You're going to be OK, you're going to be OK".  I really need that right now.  I'm grateful to be here and be sober.

JO:
I think I know what you're saying, Bill.  You are going to be OK.  I'm going to be OK, too.  I've been feeling that way more and more lately, like something's happening inside me.  It's more than just being sober, or not drinking, it's like realizing that things can get better, and that I deserve better. 

JO sings ""Freedom Waltz"

or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYMW1RT_ve8&feature=youtu.be


You told me this morning you're tired of my loving
You can no longer cope with my faults
We'll I remember you told me it takes two to tango
Well no thank you, I'd rather waltz.

And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead, or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

You go out each evening, drinking and playing
And leave me at home all alone
Well you can find another partner for your heartbreak tango
Cause I'm waltzing off on my own
And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead, or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

It may take two to tango, but if I can't tango
I won't sit at home on a shelf
You know there's lots of other dances, it's time I took chances
And learned how to waltz by myself

And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

Yes I remember you told me
It takes two to tango
Well no thank you, I'd rather waltz. 

Segue straight into the next song.  HENRY is standing at a bar, or something representing a bar, talking to CAROLE, who keeps her back turned to the audience throughout the song.  Henry sings "You Don't Remember"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWIfEOmW9Pc&feature=youtu.be


You look at me as if I were a stranger
And you've got that "come on baby" look in your eyes
You hold your cigarette just so
For me to light it, I know
Then you flash your green eyes and smile at me so nice.

You ask me if I come in here often
If I'm new in town, and what I do
What's my name, what's my sign
You say my eyes are so divine
And then you ask me if I'd spend some time with you

You don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

So like a rerun on TV I hear those lines again
You're divorced, you're lonely, you're looking for romance
You think that disco is a bore
And you think maybe we've met before
Well, would it jog your brain if I took off my pants?

You don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

So please forgive me if I'm less than cordial
But what's wrong with me I can't communicate
No I don't think that it's the flu
Maybe a bad case of deja vu
Hell, you might even say it was something that I ate

And you don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

You told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night. 

Lights down on the "bar" area, up on downstage center and HENRY moves down for her monologue.

HENRY:

• Hi, my name is Henry and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  I was always the one who could drink everybody else under the table.  I could HANDLE my liquor.  Always in control.  As far as anyone else knew, I was stone cold sober until I got to my own bed and passed out.  My travelling job help a lot.  Nobody notices that hangovers are a trend if you're in a new town every day.  I had a real good system worked out.  Be the new face in town every night, pick up some cute little thing, party my tail off, and be somewhere else the next night.  Close friends of mine were shocked when I stopped drinking.  They said I couldn't be an alcoholic.  They said my problem was all the traffic through my bedroom.  Well, they were half right.  I was finding as much escape with sex as I was with the bottle.  After I sobered up, I worked that much harder to get more sex, to make up for the lack of booze.  But you know, the girls don't get prett-i-er at closing time if you're not drinking.  So after a while the traffic kind of slowed down.  Didn't stop, just slowed down.  I don't know what I was looking for, but I sure as hell kept looking.  I think that's gonna start changing, though.  The other night, after a particularly bizarre encounter on my return trip to Memphis, I did some heavy thinking.  Why am I still acting like I'm drinking if I'm not drinking any more?  I guess I gotta be willing to change.  Maybe I am.  Getting a straight roommate is curtailing the traffic of strangers a lot.  I have to consider her now, too.  I'm finding out what it's like to have a friend.  I never had that before, just sex partners.  I'm enjoying Jo's friendship.  That's a nice new feeling, you know?

General lighting back up, HENRY goes back to her seat.

BILL:
How about you, John?  Didn't you want to talk tonight?

JOHN:
Not really

BILL:
Maybe you should.

JOHN:
Do we have a control problem here?

Pause.  BILL keeps looking at JOHN

JOHN:
OK, I'll talk.  My name is John and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:
Hi, John.

JOHN:
I'm confused.  Really confused.  I don't know whether I believe anything any more, or if I believe it all even stronger.  I'm scared. I'm hurt.  I'm angry. I'm angry at life, angry at my family.  I'm not ready to say I'm angry at God yet because I want to keep Him on my side.  I believe in love.  I believe in LOVE

CAROLE (as John's mother ):
What you did is a sin

JOHN:
I can't believe love can be wrong.  I can't believe love is a sin

BOB (as John's father):
God is punishing you

JOHN:
I refuse to believe anybody would be punished for love.  My parents say I'm being punished.  Shows how much they know about love.  Telling their own son who is going to die in a few months that he is being punished.

CAROLE and BOB:
We don't have a son.  Our son is already dead to us.  He did it to hurt us.  Our son is already dead.  We don't have a son.

JOHN:
They live is this make-believe Ozzie and Harriet world where everything is milk and cookies after school, and nothing ever goes wrong, and all the boys play football and go steady with the cheerleaders.  Well, your son has a disease, Mom, and he's burning up real fast.  He's burning away because he wasn't afraid to love.  Maybe it isn't all tidy like a 50's family sitcom episode, but my life is in brilliant color, and yours is just black and white and dark.  And I can't live in the dark. 

JOHN sings "Shooting Star"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N5RqCTCDq8

You say that everything is perfect here
The grass is green the sky is blue and clear
How straight the roses grow
They're planted in a row
And perfect order is what you hold dear.

You seem to thrive on mediocrity
You leave no room for creativity
But under my disguise
Down deep inside my eyes
I burn to make a change for liberty

And I will always be a shooting star
And I will never linger where you are
You'll see me burning bright
Dissolving in my flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

(BILL joins in with harmony)

I knew that someday I was bound to find
Someone to share the secrets of my mind
The force of love so much
That when our souls did touch
The flame so brilliant it could make you blind

And we will always be a shooting star
And we will never linger where you are
You'll see us burning bright
Dissolving in our flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

As the lights of our dream flicker from view
We sail into a dream all shining and new

And we will always be a shooting star
And we will never linger where you are
You'll see us burning bright
Dissolving in our flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

RONNY:
My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL (a little surprised):
Hi, Ronny

RONNY
I know I almost never share in these meetings.  I like to listen, and draw from your experience and strength and hope, but it's really hard for me to open up.  There's something I know I have to share with you now.  John, your honesty has made it easier for me, and I am so grateful for you and your spirit.  This is hard for me.  You all know I just went to my high school reunion back in Georgia.  I had a chance to talk to my best friend from grade school and high school, Holly.  She's in the program, too, but that's not all we have in common.

RONNY sings "Holly Wood, part 1"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzPi7t2gsSM&feature=youtu.be

You sat behind me in the fifth grade and wore my friendship ring
We planned our futures in your backyard, beside the old tree swing
I was going to be a singer, and you a movie star
We'd get out of Macon, Georgia, and we'd go far

Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, I knew we'd help each other all we could
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

We hung out some in Senior High, when you were between beaux
And wrote our acceptance speeches for the Grammy and Oscar shows
We planned one last blowout for graduation day
But then I heard you'd gotten married and run away
Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, I knew someday I'd find you if I could
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

I saw you after ten years, when I'd just begun A.A.
You'd been in treatment, you'd been divorced
You always knew that I was gay
I lived in Hollywood by then and I sang in several bars
I hoped someday you'd join me, and we'd be stars

At the twenty year reunion you looked like a movie queen
With your platinum hair, and scarlet smile like the former Norma Jean
I told you I still sang some, and that I had H.I.V.
And when no one else heard, you whispered, "just like me"

Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, we'll see each other through this like friends should
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

RONNY:
So that's it.  I have HIV too.  And so does my best friend Holly.  I never would have had the courage to talk about this without your example, John.  Thank you so much.  I guess I need to "practice these principals in all my affairs" and realize I am powerless over this disease, too.  I'll let go and let God.  One day at a time.  Thank you for listening and for being there for me.  I love you all so much. 

BOB:
(softly)  My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Bob

BOB:  Maybe something my mother told me will help.  You all know she has cancer.  She's failing pretty bad now, but she won't talk about dying.  I mean, she's done her will, and she's made us tie up all the loose ends with her apartment and her bills, but she won't talk about dying at all.  My sister told her she needed to accept the fact that she was dying.  Mama looked at her and said:

JAN: (as Bob's mother)
I'm not dying.  As long as I've got breath in my body I'm not dying, I'm living.  I know I'll be dead soon, but it's not going to ruin my day today.  It's my choice.  Today, I'm living. 

JAN sings "I Choose to be Living"

Or can be viewed online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0koey1WEFks&feature=youtu.be

Someone told me I'm dying, said it was true
Well I look at truth from a new point of view
And that's why I'm not crying, I've found a new way
I am filled up with life, and I'm living today.

And I choose to be living, I choose to be free
A disease in my body cannot infect me
I am strong
I am well
I am pure
I am whole
I may seem sick in body, but I am healthy in soul.

BOB and RONNY join in:

You might swear we're all dying, you might swear that it's true
We'll I've got some earthshaking news just for you

JOHN joins in, speaking at first

Call it living or dying, when the facts are the same
You can choose fear or freedom with only a name
And I choose to be living, I choose to be free
A disease in my body cannot infect me
I am strong
I am well
I am pure
I am whole
I may seem sick in body, but I am healthy in soul.

End of Act II