Instructions

Welcome to the blog for my musical.  If you started here, go next to the very bottom, to the posts for June.  Pay attention to the page numbers and titles so you read/listen in order.  Enjoy!  Feel free to share with others.  Harry

6. Act III, scene 1

Act III, scene 1

Transition into Act III with ALL singing Blessing (Us)

ALL:
Spirit of love, surround us.
Spirit of joy, sustain us.
Spirit of hope, call us onward.
Spirit of life, bring us home.
Spirit of life, bring us home.

or at http://youtu.be/X7WjP0Xzkgo

Lighting zeros in on JOHN and BILL

JOHN continues singing, changing to Blessing.  BILL sings echoes in the song

 

or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmzQttoy-NM&feature=youtu.be

JOHN:
Spirit of love, surround me. 
BILL:
(surround you)
JOHN:
Spirit of joy, sustain me
BILL:
(sustain you)
JOHN:
Spirit of hope, call me onward.
BILL:
(call you onward)
JOHN:
Spirit of life, bring me home.
BILL:
Spirit of life, bring you home.

JOHN and BILL embrace.  Lights down on JOHN and BILL, up on CAROLE as she moves downstage center for her monologue.

CAROLE:

• My name is Carole and I'm an alcoholic (wait)  I've been in the program for four years, but I've only got six months of continuous sobriety.  I shouldn't say "only".  I'm proud of those six months.  Bob, my sponsor, says we only have one day at a time.  I had ten months the first time, but it didn't make any difference when I took that first drink.  This time feels different, though, because I'm doing it for me.  I started A.A. because Jan  was in A.A., and I was in love.  Then I stayed in and stayed sober so the people in the group would like me.  Anything to be popular, right?  Trouble was, when I ran into my old drinking friends, I wanted to be popular with them, too.  When Bob finally got me to do my inventory, I realized that all my life being popular has been the most important thing.  I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid things wouldn't work out with Jan, so I tried to keep other options open.  I'm not proud of that, but I've learned from it.  I have to work the steps every day.  Just because I ask God to remove my faults, doesn't mean they won't try to come back.  Right now I'm really afraid for my friend John.  Bob says I shouldn't judge, just accept.  But something like AIDS is pretty hard to accept.  I've tried to find out as much as I can about AIDS.  Jan and I joined a support group that visits people with AIDS who can't get out, and helps out with stuff like housework and groceries.  People at work said "Aren't you afraid you'll catch it?" but I told them I'm a lot more afraid of looking at myself in the mirror if I don't do what I can to help others.  One thing I've gotten out of all this is a real appreciation of what I have with Jan.  We're even talking about having some kind of a commitment ceremony or something. Time is short.  None of us know how much we have.  I don't want to waste any more of OUR time on things that don't matter.  you can't take life for granted.  We can't take each other for granted.  I'm glad I'm sober.  I like myself now.  Thank you.

Lights down on CAROLE, as she returns to the group. General lighting up.

HENRY: (reading)
Ten.  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.  Eleven.  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him.  Twelve.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps....

JO:
I feel like I'm waking up, spiritually.

HENRY:
My spiritual alarm clock keeps going off and I keep hitting the snooze button.

JOHN:
I'm just taking it a day at a time

BOB:
A day at a time

CAROLE:
A day at a time

BILL:
A day at a time. Each day is so precious.

JAN:
We're planning the commitment ceremony for three months from now

BOB:
Mama died yesterday

JO:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name

JOHN:
I'm thinking of stopping all my medicines

BOB:
The funeral is this Friday

JAN:
The commitment ceremony is next week

BILL:
John really wants to see the bluebonnets blooming one last time.  But they've all wilted from the drought.

RONNY:
He said he wanted to stop all his medicines.  He told me not to tell anyone else.

JOHN:
Now I lay me down to sleep

JO:
Hallowed be thy name

HENRY:
Jan and Carole's ceremony was so beautiful

CAROLE:
The service for Bob's mom was so beautiful

JO:
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven

BILL:
John is back in the hospital.  I think this is it.

HENRY:
He said he wanted to stop all his medicines.  He told me not to tell anybody else.

BOB:
I didn't know what to say to John.  I told him to just be willing to accept whatever happens

BILL:
Just be willing

RONNY:
Just be willing

HENRY:
Just be willing

BOB:
I feel like she's still around

RONNY:
I'm so sad for John, and for my friend Holly. 

JO:
Give us this day

JOHN:
This day

BILL:
This day

JAN :
This day - we can't take it for granted

CAROLE:
It's all we've got

BILL:
He's gone off all medicines and refused life support.  It's what he wants.

JOHN:
I pray the Lord my soul will keep

RONNY:
I keep dreaming about her.  It's like she's here with me.

BILL:
And he asked me if it was all right if he just let go

JOHN:
If I should die before I wake

JO:
Give us this day our daily bread

HENRY:
Just be willing

BOB:
It's like she's still here with me.  Like she's not really gone.

JOHN:
I pray the Lord my soul will take.

BILL:
Just be willing

Stage goes black.  JOHN exits, and comes back bringing flowers and candles for each of the other actors as CAROLE recites Psalm 100.  Spotlight on CAROLE.  JOHN remains on stage for the rest of the play, off to the side, watching.

CAROLE:
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.  Serve the Lord with gladness.  Come before His presence with singing.  Know ye that the Lord, he is God.  It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves.  We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.  Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.  Be thankful unto him, and bless His name.  For the Lord is good.  His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endureth to all generations. 

Spotlight off CAROLE.  Intro music begins for "Our Father".  JO lights her candle, which she uses to light the next character's candle and then holds in front of her face as she sings.  During the song, the other characters pass the flame around and slowly join in the song.  NOTE:  The song should crescendo on "Give us this day our daily bread" and the next few lines, and then one by one the other actors drop out of the song, leaving JO to sing the last lines alone (For the kingdom...)

JO and CAST:

Or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHDfLOm3-X4&feature=youtu.be

Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil

Instrumental continues.  BOB speaks these lines as cast members hum:

BOB: (speaking)
Lord, hold John in your hands.  Grant us strength, hope and love as we continue to follow your path.

JO: (singing)
For the kingdom, and the power and the glory are yours
Now and forever, amen.

ALL:
Amen

All throw their flowers to the center of the circle, and blow out their candles.

Spotlight on JOHN, who sings "I'll Still Be Here". 

Or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s26zTLsLS3k&feature=youtu.be

JOHN:
I know I said someday I'd leave
But I never could, you must believe

The first warm day of spring, I'll be here
When the mockingbird sings, I'll still be here
He'll be whistling along, with a voice clear and strong
You'll hear one of my songs, and I'll be here

And as the flowers grow, I'll be here
Yes I want you to know, I'll still be here
And when the irises bloom, with their sweet perfume
In your heart find some room and I'll be here

When you're walking through my garden
The daylilies glistening with dew
I will still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you.

And when the crape myrtle fades, I'll be here
In every seed that they've made I'll still be here
And when the pink blossoms fall from the hollyhocks so tall
In a flash of recall, I'll still be here

And in the autumn chill I'll be here
You must know that I will, I'll still be here
And at Christmas you'll see, when you're trimming the tree
Hang a seashell for me and I'll be here

In the colors of each sunset
And by the fireplace when evening is through
I will still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you

And when you sew my panel for the quilt
Make it purple and teal and sky blue
And I'll still be here, yes I will be here
And I'll still be loving you

I know I said someday I'd leave
But I never could, you must believe.

End of Act III scene 1

7. Act III scene 2

ACT III scene 2

Scene 2 begins back in the meeting room.  ALL are assembled (with JOHN still off to the side, watching).  HENRY is reading

HENRY:
Twelve.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.  And I'm Henry, and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:
Hi, Henry

JO:
I'm Jo and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Jo.

JO:
I want to thank Henry for reading the steps tonight.  Welcome to the regular Friday night meeting of the Lambda group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Thank all of you for letting me chair tonight.  This is my first time, and I'm a little nervous.  I know we all have a lot to talk about after this week, but I want to start off with a little bit on step twelve.  Almost a year ago, this group carried the message to me.  Over the last year, and especially the last few weeks, I've watched and learned as we have all continued our spiritual awakening, and practiced these principals in all our affairs.  I'm grateful for all of you, and for this program. 

BOB:
My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Bob

BOB:
When my mother died a few weeks ago I didn't feel anything at first.  Then later, when I let myself feel the grief, it was a relief to know that I could feel something, that I cared.  The grief was part of the connection I still had to my mother.  But there's more to the connection than that.  Sometimes I feel like she's right here with me.  At first I thought that might be crazy, but then I "sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God and I understand Him", like the step says, and realized that maybe acknowledging that my mother's spirit was still with me wasn't crazy.  Maybe it was part of how my understanding of God was changing, part of my spiritual awakening.    And there were people at these meetings who had been through the same thing, and they could say to me "I've been there, I know".  And I knew there must be something that they held onto that I could hold onto as well.  I physically felt people praying for me, sending me their love.  I just let it all soak in.  Today I'm really grateful that I can look at you, Bill, and say "I've been there, I know" and to have some of that love and caring to send your way right now.

BOB sings "I Thought About You"

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTazjkv5_2A&feature=youtu.be  

BOB:
I thought about you once or twice today
About how good it'd be to talk
And things I'd like to say.
I would have tried to call you on the phone
But that line's been disconnected
And there's no one left at home anyway.
Still I thought of you today
And I guess it's good to talk to you that way.

And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.

I'm not quite sure exactly where you've gone
I just know sometimes I still feel you near
Sometimes I feel alone.
But I'm glad to know we had so much to share
And as the world around me changes
I'll find another way to care, anyway
Still I thought of you today
And I know it's good to talk to you that way.

And I still love you
The way I loved you as a child
And I still see you
Like a picture, when you smiled
And I still hear you
When you say I make you proud
And I'm glad to have the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.
Yes, I'm glad we've had the chance
To say "I love you" right out loud.

RONNY:
My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Ronny

RONNY:
At John's funeral, I looked around at everybody there and I got really scared.  I have the same virus.  So many of my friends have the same virus.  I looked at the group standing around John's grave and I wondered, "Who's next?"  Then I remembered what we talked about in the meeting a few weeks back, about choosing to live, one day at a time.  It made my fear go away.  Yes, I have AIDS, but I'm alive, today.  That's all that counts.  Today.  Last night, I dreamed about my friend Holly.  She's been living with AIDS, too, but she hasn't been doing as well as me.  In the dream I was walking up a hill, through some trees.  I came to a clearing with a big green lawn, and flower beds.  There was this huge mansion on top of the hill, bigger than Biltmore, bigger than Buckingham palace, and there were mobs and mobs of people in front of the house.  Then my friend Holly came out of the crowd, and walked toward me.  She looked beautiful.  She was smiling, and her skin was glowing, and the sun was shining through her hair.  She came up to me and grabbed my arms and said "Ronny!   I've been waiting for you for so long!  Let me show you around!"  And I looked at her and said "Holly, it's such a big house, there are so many people!"  And then I woke up.  I knew what the dream meant.  Holly was dead.  I was a little glad she said she'd been waiting for me a long time.  I'm not ready to go.  Not yet.  But I needed to know for sure about Holly, so this morning I called Holly's mother, to see what was going on.  Mrs. Wood told me that Holly had died last night.  Something told me to tell her about the dream.  When I finished, she said "What did you say in the dream again?" and I told her "It's such a big house, there are so many people."  Mrs. Wood said, "Ronny, Holly has been going in and out of consciousness for a few days now.  I've been staying by her side in the hospital.  Last night, about 2 o'clock, she opened her eyes and looked straight at me.  She said 'Mama, it's such a big house, there are so many people'.  Then she smiled at me, and closed her eyes, and she was gone." I didn't know what to say to Holly's mom.  I told her what a special friend Holly had been.  Mrs. Wood asked me about the quilt, the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt.  She asked me if I could make a panel for Holly.  I told her it would be my honor to remember my friend that way.

RONNY sings "Holly Wood, reprise"

Or view at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIrDl2wZB_k&feature=youtu.be  

RONNY:
And I sew these words on scraps of cotton
My friend will never be forgotten
And on the quilt, your picture, and your name
Memories of childhood dreams of fame
You'll always be a star, you always should
'Cause if anyone would be my friend
I know, that Holly Wood.

BILL sings "Rise Again" (with HENRY and JO)

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIkNfNr43AU&feature=youtu.be

BILL:
The flowers on the Texas hills
Are gone before their time
The spring rains came too late
Bluebonnets withered in their prime
I stare out at the thunderstorm
Breaking on this April morn
And know there must be seeds that wait
Another spring to climb
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The spring will rise again
And find more bluebonnets to bloom inside
To fill the Texas wind.

BILL, HENRY and JO:
You'd lost the strength to fight for life
You told me with a sigh
I had no strength to offer you
No easy answers why
I wanted with my soul that night
To beg you please to try and fight
But all that I could say was
"Just be willing for what goes by"
And I never had the slightest doubt
Your light would rise again
And find another smile to shine inside
Another day my friend.

BILL:
It seemed there was no sunlight left
When I knew you were gone
The clouds had brought the dark too soon
The rain was raging on
But as my grief became most chilling
I heard my own words, "Just be willing (just be willing)"
And I turned my drying eyes to greet the dawn
And I do not have the slightest doubt
The sun will rise.........again.
And find another sky to shine inside.
For you and me, my friend.

HENRY:
OK, not wanting to be disrespectful or anything, but I thought I was the only one John talked to about going off his meds.  He told me not to tell anybody, not even Bill.

JO:
Oh, my God.  He had the same conversation with me.

HENRY:
Anybody else?

The rest of the cast raises their hands.

HENRY:
He's watching this, you know.  And he's enjoying every second.

BOB:
He always did love a practical joke. 

BILL:
I think he wanted to make each of us feel special.  You know how much he loved this group.

Lights down on all but JO as she comes downstage center for her monologue.

JO:

• My name is Jo and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  What's there to say?  You've all seen my story.  My husband went out drinking, and I stayed home and drank.  When he came home, he beat me up.  Oh, it wasn't always like that.  At first it was romantic and fun.  Then we got married.  He didn't want to be romantic any more once we were living together.  So I watched soap operas for my romance, and drank.  He'd come home drunk, and he'd slap me around a little, or a lot, then he'd be real sorry and try to make it up by being sexy.  Of course, I felt REAL sexy with a bloody nose and a busted lip.  Sometimes he would skip the romance, and he'd just rape me.  I kept thinking, maybe if I dressed better he won't get mad.  Maybe if I cooked a better dinner he won't get mad.  I've learned in this program that his getting mad and acting out had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do.  But I AM responsible for whether or not I'm a victim.  Thank God Henry helped me get out of there.  So how did I get here, to the Lambda group?  Now I know it was God.  My husband had been arrested twice for drunk driving.  The judge made him go to ten A.A. meetings.  I went with him to the first one, so I knew a little bit about what the program was.  When I finally did call the A.A. number to find out where a meeting was, where I wouldn't run into my husband, I got Henry on the phone.  She told me about this gay meeting.  I figured I'd be safe there.  Pretty soon, though, this group became my family and I didn't feel like there were any differences.  Gay, straight, whatever, we're all just trying to find our way.  I go to other meetings, but this is my home group.  I love them.  I've learned so much from Ronny, and Bob, and Jan and Carole, and especially from Henry, and from John.....  Right now I'm learning a lot from Bill.  He's not just staying sober through all this, he's staying OK.  There's a part in the A.A. Big Book where it says to newcomers "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it..."  I want what Bill has.  I want that kind of faith and that kind of love.  The miracle is, I'm finding it.  It's here, inside me.  My friends in this group are helping me see it.  Thanks.

JO returns to the group.  Lights come back up, JAN and CAROLE sing "Don't Take Me for Granted" to each other.

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR41_lZDjvE&feature=youtu.be

JAN:
I have known you forever

CAROLE:
We have just been introduced

JAN:
Our love is binding us tighter

CAROLE:
Our hearts have been unloosed

JAN and CAROLE:
Love is deeper than the ocean
Higher than the sky
And when we say "hello"
Inside we know
We also say "goodbye"

So don't take me for granted
Don't take me away
Just take me to heart
And love me today

We are the same and equal
We are opposite, apart
We take love from each other
We give away our heart
We're too brave to show our feelings
Too afraid to hide
We look for love
Around, above
And find it deep inside

And I won't take you for granted
I won't take you away
I'll take you to heart
And love you today.

JO:
I want to thank everyone for a good meeting.  Feel free to stay around after the meeting for coffee and fellowship.  We meet  here every night, and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.  Let's close the meeting in the usual way.  Ronny, can you lead us?

RONNY:
Who's father?

ALL:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...

ALL sing "Phoenix - reprise" in the following order:

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMPFdSyfeWI&feature=youtu.be

BILL:
As the way I've passed grows longer
The way to go grows small

JO:
I leave behind bad memories
Of the times when I did fall

CAROLE:
I bring along a gentle voice,
A loving smile, a friend

JOHN (joining the group):
Heading for the sunrise
At my journey's end

ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

RONNY:
Today the road seems long
But soon I will be home

JAN:
The tension in my shoulders
Slowly eases, now it's gone

HENRY:
I leave old things behind me
And I'm welcoming the new

BOB:
Inside I find all I need
To do what I must do

ALL:
And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

ALL:
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever, amen.

Keep coming back, it works!

ALL sing "Phoenix - Finale":

Or view at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=192msJ8BMSc&feature=youtu.be

And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane

The End

5. Act II, scene 2

Act II, Scene 2

Lights up to full.  Group is assembled for the meeting

BILL:
      My name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
      Hi, Bill.

BILL:
      And this is the regular Tuesday night open discussion meeting of the Lambda Group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I'd like to thank Jan and Ronny for doing the readings.  Does anyone have an urgent topic they need to discuss?   (wait)  If not, then for tonight's topic I wanted to talk about spirituality.  I know that scares a lot of people.  It did me.  I didn't want any part of religion at all.  So I've been sort of working around that part of A.A.  It wasn't until some real crises started happening to me and to someone I love very much that I realized I was starting to rely on some kind of outside power to help handle them.  It isn't really religion, but more of a feeling that there was something inside me that I had been turning off, like a light switch, and maybe there was a higher power or some form of God out there, and in here.  The twelve steps talk about "God as we understand Him".  So maybe that's how I understand him.  It's like a feeling that keeps saying "You're going to be OK, you're going to be OK".  I really need that right now.  I'm grateful to be here and be sober.

JO:
I think I know what you're saying, Bill.  You are going to be OK.  I'm going to be OK, too.  I've been feeling that way more and more lately, like something's happening inside me.  It's more than just being sober, or not drinking, it's like realizing that things can get better, and that I deserve better. 

JO sings ""Freedom Waltz"

or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYMW1RT_ve8&feature=youtu.be


You told me this morning you're tired of my loving
You can no longer cope with my faults
We'll I remember you told me it takes two to tango
Well no thank you, I'd rather waltz.

And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead, or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

You go out each evening, drinking and playing
And leave me at home all alone
Well you can find another partner for your heartbreak tango
Cause I'm waltzing off on my own
And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead, or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

It may take two to tango, but if I can't tango
I won't sit at home on a shelf
You know there's lots of other dances, it's time I took chances
And learned how to waltz by myself

And I'll do the freedom waltz
I won't have to lead or to follow
Freedom waltz
I'll dance away all of my sorrow

Yes I remember you told me
It takes two to tango
Well no thank you, I'd rather waltz. 

Segue straight into the next song.  HENRY is standing at a bar, or something representing a bar, talking to CAROLE, who keeps her back turned to the audience throughout the song.  Henry sings "You Don't Remember"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWIfEOmW9Pc&feature=youtu.be


You look at me as if I were a stranger
And you've got that "come on baby" look in your eyes
You hold your cigarette just so
For me to light it, I know
Then you flash your green eyes and smile at me so nice.

You ask me if I come in here often
If I'm new in town, and what I do
What's my name, what's my sign
You say my eyes are so divine
And then you ask me if I'd spend some time with you

You don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

So like a rerun on TV I hear those lines again
You're divorced, you're lonely, you're looking for romance
You think that disco is a bore
And you think maybe we've met before
Well, would it jog your brain if I took off my pants?

You don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

So please forgive me if I'm less than cordial
But what's wrong with me I can't communicate
No I don't think that it's the flu
Maybe a bad case of deja vu
Hell, you might even say it was something that I ate

And you don't remember
It was just three weeks ago
You don't remember
Now I'm someone that you don't know
You don't remember
When you held me oh so tight
And you told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night.

You told me you'd always cherish so deep in your heart
The love we shared that night. 

Lights down on the "bar" area, up on downstage center and HENRY moves down for her monologue.

HENRY:

• Hi, my name is Henry and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  I was always the one who could drink everybody else under the table.  I could HANDLE my liquor.  Always in control.  As far as anyone else knew, I was stone cold sober until I got to my own bed and passed out.  My travelling job help a lot.  Nobody notices that hangovers are a trend if you're in a new town every day.  I had a real good system worked out.  Be the new face in town every night, pick up some cute little thing, party my tail off, and be somewhere else the next night.  Close friends of mine were shocked when I stopped drinking.  They said I couldn't be an alcoholic.  They said my problem was all the traffic through my bedroom.  Well, they were half right.  I was finding as much escape with sex as I was with the bottle.  After I sobered up, I worked that much harder to get more sex, to make up for the lack of booze.  But you know, the girls don't get prett-i-er at closing time if you're not drinking.  So after a while the traffic kind of slowed down.  Didn't stop, just slowed down.  I don't know what I was looking for, but I sure as hell kept looking.  I think that's gonna start changing, though.  The other night, after a particularly bizarre encounter on my return trip to Memphis, I did some heavy thinking.  Why am I still acting like I'm drinking if I'm not drinking any more?  I guess I gotta be willing to change.  Maybe I am.  Getting a straight roommate is curtailing the traffic of strangers a lot.  I have to consider her now, too.  I'm finding out what it's like to have a friend.  I never had that before, just sex partners.  I'm enjoying Jo's friendship.  That's a nice new feeling, you know?

General lighting back up, HENRY goes back to her seat.

BILL:
How about you, John?  Didn't you want to talk tonight?

JOHN:
Not really

BILL:
Maybe you should.

JOHN:
Do we have a control problem here?

Pause.  BILL keeps looking at JOHN

JOHN:
OK, I'll talk.  My name is John and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:
Hi, John.

JOHN:
I'm confused.  Really confused.  I don't know whether I believe anything any more, or if I believe it all even stronger.  I'm scared. I'm hurt.  I'm angry. I'm angry at life, angry at my family.  I'm not ready to say I'm angry at God yet because I want to keep Him on my side.  I believe in love.  I believe in LOVE

CAROLE (as John's mother ):
What you did is a sin

JOHN:
I can't believe love can be wrong.  I can't believe love is a sin

BOB (as John's father):
God is punishing you

JOHN:
I refuse to believe anybody would be punished for love.  My parents say I'm being punished.  Shows how much they know about love.  Telling their own son who is going to die in a few months that he is being punished.

CAROLE and BOB:
We don't have a son.  Our son is already dead to us.  He did it to hurt us.  Our son is already dead.  We don't have a son.

JOHN:
They live is this make-believe Ozzie and Harriet world where everything is milk and cookies after school, and nothing ever goes wrong, and all the boys play football and go steady with the cheerleaders.  Well, your son has a disease, Mom, and he's burning up real fast.  He's burning away because he wasn't afraid to love.  Maybe it isn't all tidy like a 50's family sitcom episode, but my life is in brilliant color, and yours is just black and white and dark.  And I can't live in the dark. 

JOHN sings "Shooting Star"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N5RqCTCDq8

You say that everything is perfect here
The grass is green the sky is blue and clear
How straight the roses grow
They're planted in a row
And perfect order is what you hold dear.

You seem to thrive on mediocrity
You leave no room for creativity
But under my disguise
Down deep inside my eyes
I burn to make a change for liberty

And I will always be a shooting star
And I will never linger where you are
You'll see me burning bright
Dissolving in my flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

(BILL joins in with harmony)

I knew that someday I was bound to find
Someone to share the secrets of my mind
The force of love so much
That when our souls did touch
The flame so brilliant it could make you blind

And we will always be a shooting star
And we will never linger where you are
You'll see us burning bright
Dissolving in our flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

As the lights of our dream flicker from view
We sail into a dream all shining and new

And we will always be a shooting star
And we will never linger where you are
You'll see us burning bright
Dissolving in our flight
To bring a little light of love
To your cold and perfect night

RONNY:
My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL (a little surprised):
Hi, Ronny

RONNY
I know I almost never share in these meetings.  I like to listen, and draw from your experience and strength and hope, but it's really hard for me to open up.  There's something I know I have to share with you now.  John, your honesty has made it easier for me, and I am so grateful for you and your spirit.  This is hard for me.  You all know I just went to my high school reunion back in Georgia.  I had a chance to talk to my best friend from grade school and high school, Holly.  She's in the program, too, but that's not all we have in common.

RONNY sings "Holly Wood, part 1"

Or view online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzPi7t2gsSM&feature=youtu.be

You sat behind me in the fifth grade and wore my friendship ring
We planned our futures in your backyard, beside the old tree swing
I was going to be a singer, and you a movie star
We'd get out of Macon, Georgia, and we'd go far

Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, I knew we'd help each other all we could
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

We hung out some in Senior High, when you were between beaux
And wrote our acceptance speeches for the Grammy and Oscar shows
We planned one last blowout for graduation day
But then I heard you'd gotten married and run away
Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, I knew someday I'd find you if I could
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

I saw you after ten years, when I'd just begun A.A.
You'd been in treatment, you'd been divorced
You always knew that I was gay
I lived in Hollywood by then and I sang in several bars
I hoped someday you'd join me, and we'd be stars

At the twenty year reunion you looked like a movie queen
With your platinum hair, and scarlet smile like the former Norma Jean
I told you I still sang some, and that I had H.I.V.
And when no one else heard, you whispered, "just like me"

Holly, you wanted to be Marilyn Monroe
Off to Hollywood you'd go
And be a movie star I know
And Holly, we'll see each other through this like friends should
'Cause if anyone would be my friend, I know that Holly would.

RONNY:
So that's it.  I have HIV too.  And so does my best friend Holly.  I never would have had the courage to talk about this without your example, John.  Thank you so much.  I guess I need to "practice these principals in all my affairs" and realize I am powerless over this disease, too.  I'll let go and let God.  One day at a time.  Thank you for listening and for being there for me.  I love you all so much. 

BOB:
(softly)  My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
Hi, Bob

BOB:  Maybe something my mother told me will help.  You all know she has cancer.  She's failing pretty bad now, but she won't talk about dying.  I mean, she's done her will, and she's made us tie up all the loose ends with her apartment and her bills, but she won't talk about dying at all.  My sister told her she needed to accept the fact that she was dying.  Mama looked at her and said:

JAN: (as Bob's mother)
I'm not dying.  As long as I've got breath in my body I'm not dying, I'm living.  I know I'll be dead soon, but it's not going to ruin my day today.  It's my choice.  Today, I'm living. 

JAN sings "I Choose to be Living"

Or can be viewed online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0koey1WEFks&feature=youtu.be

Someone told me I'm dying, said it was true
Well I look at truth from a new point of view
And that's why I'm not crying, I've found a new way
I am filled up with life, and I'm living today.

And I choose to be living, I choose to be free
A disease in my body cannot infect me
I am strong
I am well
I am pure
I am whole
I may seem sick in body, but I am healthy in soul.

BOB and RONNY join in:

You might swear we're all dying, you might swear that it's true
We'll I've got some earthshaking news just for you

JOHN joins in, speaking at first

Call it living or dying, when the facts are the same
You can choose fear or freedom with only a name
And I choose to be living, I choose to be free
A disease in my body cannot infect me
I am strong
I am well
I am pure
I am whole
I may seem sick in body, but I am healthy in soul.

End of Act II

4. Act II Scene 1

Act II Scene 1

Scene opens with full cast singing reprise of "Blessing (us)"

Spirit of love, surround us.
Spirit of joy, sustain us.
Spirit of hope, call us onward.
Spirit of life, bring us home.
Spirit of life, bring us home.

or view at http://youtu.be/X7WjP0Xzkgo

As the lights come up, JOHN sits, crying.  BILL enters

BILL:
      John, what is it?  What's wrong?

JOHN:
      I went to the doctor about my shortness of breath.  It's what I was afraid of.  This KS cancer has spread to my lungs.

BILL:
      We'll get through this.  When do they start treatment?  What are they going to do?

JOHN:
      Honey, there is nothing they can do.  This is it.  He says I have about two months to live.

BILL:
      John, there has to be something you can do.  You have to think positive.  We'll get through this together, OK?  OK, honey?  You're going to get well.  I know it.

JOHN;
      And what if I don't?

JOHN and BILL embrace, sobbing.  Lights down on JOHN and BILL, up on HENRY, reading.

HENRY:
      ...turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.  Four.  Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.  Five.  Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.  Six.  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.  Seven.  Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.  Eight.  Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.  Nine.  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Lights down on HENRY, up on JAN as CAROLE enters

JAN:
      You're on time!  I don't believe it!

CAROLE: (kissing Jan on the cheek)
      It's the new me.  Just one of many things I'm going to do differently from now on.

JAN:
      So, you did your fourth step with Bob today?

CAROLE:
      We got all the way through eight.  Now I'm ready to start making amends.  Jan, I'm sorry.  But just saying I'm sorry can't be enough.  For me, to make amends means to make things right.  I have to make things right with you.  So if I can't make it over here on time for our dates any more, then I shouldn't make any more dates.  I shouldn't make any more plans to visit you for the evening. 

JAN:
      What are you saying?

CAROLE:
      So......I decided that instead of making dates to come visit you, I should just.......say "Yes" to your offer of letting me move back in with you!

JAN and CAROLE both make little yelps of delight, and embrace.  Lights down on JAN and CAROLE, up on JO, talking on the telephone.

JO:
      Henry?  It's Jo.  You said to call you before I took a drink.  Well, I'm getting close.  (pause)  No, not yet.  (pause)   He hit me again.  (pause)  Yeah, I think so, just a little dazed.  (pause)  No, he went  out for air, he said.  Probably be gone all night.  (pause)  My bags?  Why?  (pause)  But I don't have anywhere to go.  (pause)  Do you have room?  (pause)  Are you sure?  (pause)  OK.  Maybe you're right.  Just hurry.  I'm scared.  I'll be waiting on the porch. 

Lights down on JO, up on BOB, downstage center for his monologue

BOB: (to the audience)

• My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  I like to make people laugh.  Can you tell?  When I was drinking, I wasn't just the life of the party, I WAS the party!  Give me a bottle of scotch and your guests were en-ter-tained.  Royally!  Hey, who called me a queen?  You?  Maybe not, but you thought it.  Real loud.  Doesn't hurt me.  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!  But really, when you've had the entire student body of Central High School yelling "queer" at you in the halls every time you changed classes, you develop a thick skin.  I turned it into a joke.  Everybody laughed.  My mother didn't laugh, though.  She could see through all my joking, and she knew how much it hurt inside.  I could talk to her.  I didn't tell her about being gay for the longest time.  She knew, though.  She said she was waiting for me to be ready to talk about it.  When I started A.A. she final told me she knew, and didn't care.  She wanted to talk about it because she knew my worrying about her finding out was something I would probably drink over.  She didn't want me to relapse on my program.   It really scares me that she's sick.  For the longest time I've been praying to God to help me accept this horrible thing that was happening in my life.  Then Ronny told me in a meeting that calling it horrible was not acceptance at all.  Then Jan told me her mother had died of cancer, and that I was not the only person that things like this happen to.  She got through it, and so could I.  One day at a time.  None of this sank in until one Sunday morning I was flipping channels on the TV and came across a church service.  Someone was reading Psalm 100.  "Come before His presence with singing."  And I realized, that's what my mother was going to do.  She was going to come before God's presence singing her heart out with joy!  I could almost see it  and hear it in my mind.

RONNY sings "Joyful Noise" with JAN singing harmony

 

or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0voDe2D6ko&feature=youtu.be

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands.

 

The Lord is God, it is He who has made us
We are His people, the sheep of His pasture
Give thanks when you enter His gates
Give praise, and bless his name

 

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands
Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

 

The Lord is good, his mercy is everlasting
And His truth endures to all generations
Be glad when you serve the Lord
And sing when you come before Him!

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, praise him all you lands

BOB (continuing):

• Come before His presence with singing!  I got OK with it.  I quit calling it a horrible thing.  I quit judging.  And I finally figured out what "acceptance" means.  It's like in that Serenity Prayer we say a lot in the meetings.  I'm learning the difference between what I can change and what I can't.  I CAN change my attitude.

Lights down on BOB, up on JOHN and BILL as they set up chairs for the meeting. 

BILL:
      She hung up on you?

JOHN:
      She said, "Is this some kind of a cruel joke?  Our son John is dead."  And then she hung up. 

BILL:
      They don't even care that you're sick?

JOHN:
      Bill, I've told you.  Once they found out I was gay they stopped caring about anything.  I'm dead to them.  Please, just drop it.

BILL:
      It'll help if you talk....

JOHN
      I said drop it.

REST OF CAST enters, talking on top of each other

JAN:
      My name is Jan and I'm an alcoholic

RONNY:
      My name is Ronny and

JOHN
      John and I'm an

CAROLE:
      I'm an alcoholic.  This is the regular Sunday night

HENRY:
      Welcome to the regular Wednesday night

JO:
      This is the Saturday midnight meeting of the Lambda

BILL:
      Open discussion meeting of the

BOB:
      This is the Lambda group of Alcoholics Anonymous

BILL:
      I'd like to open this meeting

CAROLE:
      Open with a moment of silence followed

JOHN:
      Of silence followed by the serenity prayer

(pause)

ALL:
      God, grant me the serenity

JO:
      I've been sober for four months now

RONNY:
      Grateful to be celebrating three years of

BOB:
      Years of staying sober

JAN:
      I'm just grateful to be here and sober

BILL:
      I need to talk about gratitude

(pause)

ALL:
      To accept the things I cannot change

BILL:
      Sometimes the just doesn't understand

BOB:
      Found out my mother has cancer

RONNY:
      I just got back from my high school reunion

JO:
     I thought we could talk about acceptance

JOHN:
      It's getting harder and harder to catch my breath

JO:
      Says he wants me to come back and try again

CAROLE:
      My boss has been giving me a lot of shit

BOB:
      It's inoperable.  She's going on hospice care

JAN:
      I've been there.  I know.

(pause)

ALL:
      Courage to change the things I can

JAN:
      I realized it was my attitude that I had to

HENRY:
      Maybe my attitude about myself and the kind of relationships

BILL:
      The way I was looking at our relationship

JO:
      The doormat is OUTSIDE

JOHN:
      My feelings about being sick and being rejected

CAROLE:
      I don't have to be lonely

JO:
      Wipe your feet on IT, not ME!

RONNY:
      I have to find a way to open up to the group.  I need to share this.

(pause)

ALL:
      And the wisdom to know the difference

Lights up to full, go directly into Act II scene 2.

3. Act I, scene 2

Actors all come on stage, humming "Blessing".  Humming continues over the opening montage:

JAN:
      Thank God.  She's here.  Bob must have talked to her.

RONNY:
      They all seem so close.

BILL:
      I wonder what's wrong with Carole?

HENRY:
      Thank God I'm home.  I hate travelling

JOHN:
      I still remember the first night we met.

BOB:
      From the look of things, I'd better talk about relationships tonight.

CAROLE:
      A desire to STOP drinking.

HENRY:
      Either she's late, or she's not showing

RONNY:
      Maybe I SHOULD start talking about it. 

Humming stops, lights up to full 

BOB:
      (reading)  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope...

(JO enters.  All follow BOB's eyes to her.  BOB and Henry motion her to the empty chair)

BOB:
      Experience, strength and hope with each other so that they might solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.  There are no dues or fees for AA membership, we are self-supporting through our own contributions.  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.  (no longer reading)  And welcome to the Sunday night open discussion meeting of the Lambda group of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Do we have anyone with us for the first time tonight?

(JO raises her hand, shyly)

BOB:
      Would you like to give us your first name?

JO:
      Jo.  My name is Jo.

ALL:
      Hi, Jo.

JOHN:
      Welcome

BOB: (handing folder to HENRY)
      Henry, would you like to read how it works?

HENRY:
      Sure.  These are the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  One, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

(HENRY's voice slowly fades down as lights dim except for a spot on JO)

HENRY:
      Two, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.  Three, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him....

JO: [Sings "Phoenix (refrain)"]

 

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmtM9K4LSX4&feature=youtu.be

And I will rise, purified
From the ashes of my pain
And I will fly like a bird
Through the sunshine and the rain
I will let go the things I lose
I will accept the things I gain
Keeping my mind's eye
Centered on a higher plane.

Spot down on JO, up to full on stage.

HENRY:
      Twelve, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.  Oh, and my name is Henry, and I'm an alcoholic.

ALL:
      Hi, Henry.


BOB:
      My name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic

ALL:
      Hi, Bob

BOB:
      Hi.  Tonight, I'd like to talk about what it was like, since we have a newcomer.  I want to focus on the topic of relationships and sobriety, or how our sobriety has changed our sex lives.  For me, this has been pretty important to staying sober.  I don't think I ever had sex sober until I started this program.  Even when I thought I had a good healthy attitude about myself and my sex life, I still had to hide behind drugs and alcohol for courage.  I think a lot of it stems from my first sexual experience. 

SPOT on BOB, music begins while he continues.  Others begin a "doo-wop" background, clear chairs to create a small stage/dance floor.

BOB: (continuing)
      It was when I was still in high school, which for me was in the late fifties.  Yes, I'm that old!  It was my senior year, and I was at the school prom.  Everybody was sneaking out to their cars, spiking their cokes with rum or bourbon.  I went along, since this was my senior prom, a "rite of passage".  In an hour or two my inhibitions were dropping pretty fast.

BOB sings "Senior Prom"

Or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo1ggpemP7E&feature=youtu.be

The first time I met you was at our high school dance
I was shy, I hesitated, afraid to take a chance
You walked by and you asked me if I want to walk with you
I do, I do, I do

We walked in the moonlight, we had lots of fun
I saw fire in your eyes, felt your hand on my left bun
I have waited for a lifetime but at long last I knew
I do, I do, I do

We went to the car for our first kiss
We went too far we found true bliss
We made sweet love the whole night through
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

So both of our girlfriends had to walk home from the prom
Annette told your father, Carol Sue told my mom
We lost our reputation, but we found love so true
I do, I do, I do

We went to the car for our first kiss
We went too far, we found true bliss
We made sweet love the whole night through
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

School days are ending graduation is near
And the entire senior class knows that you and I are.....lovers
'Cause I cannot tell a lie when they ask if I love you
I do.

BOB steps out of the spotlight, and is replaced by JAN.  JAN "dials" a telephone.  Ring tone.  Other cast members act like bar patrons. The following dialogue is over the intro to CAROLE's song
 
CAROLE:
      Hi.  This is Carole.  I'm not able to take your call right now, but if you'll leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  Wait for the beep.  (beep)

JAN:
      Um, hello, this is Jan, it's about 8:30 and you were supposed to be here an hour ago.  Call me.

CAROLE sings  "I Need a Love Affair".  CAROLE sings to other cast members in the "bar" until the end of verse three, when she heads to where JAN is.

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gvNoA2fm3s&feature=youtu.be

I'm in a bad space, such a sad case
I need a love affair
Someone to dream of who'll bring me sweet love
I need a love affair
Oh I know that I need to find someone who will free my mind
To be gentle and soft and kind
I need a love affair

JAN (over the instrumental break):
      Hi.  Me again.  It's 10:00 now and I'm getting worried that your OK.  Call me.  Please?

CAROLE:

It's such a dark night, I need a soft light
I need a love affair
Someone to share my bed who understands my head
I need a love affair
I need somebody warm to hold
When the night wind is hard and cold
I'm just lonesome and sad I'm told
I need a love affair

Jan (over the instrumental break):
      This is your ex.  Ignore those other messages.  It's midnight and I'm going to sleep.  I'll talk to you tomorrow.

HENRY (over the instrumental break):
      LAST CALL!

CAROLE:

Where do I go?  That's all I need to know
Where do I go?  To find my lover, to find my love affair
Tell me where
I need a love affair
Tell me where
Do you hear my song?  Do you think I'm wrong to need a love affair?
Or do you think my song is coming on too strong? I need a love affair
Or do you think that you could maybe see me through and be my love affair?
Could you hold me tight and help me through the night I need....I need.....

JAN goes straight into "I Guess I Forgive You"

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoGhXW1xGEY&feature=youtu.be

You call me on Monday, we make plans for Tuesday
Tuesday came, you didn't show
I called you on Wednesday, we make plans for Thursday
Why I believed you I'll never know
And now without warning at three in the morning
You're knocking at my door
You say you regret it, say to forget it
Promise it won't happen no more

So I guess I'll forgive you
And I guess that I'll let you stay
And I guess I'll still love you
Well I guess that I'm crazy that way
And I guess that you're love so right
Will make up for those lonely nights
And I guess I won't feel the pain as we love again
I'll let you hold my heart in your hand
And I'll love you while I can

You say you're afraid of the things I am made of
The chains that tie you down
So you try to refuse the love you don't want to lose
But the feeling keeps coming around
Well babe, I can read and in your eyes I see need
And that need is stronger than your fear
And when you learn how to live and you're ready to give
Baby, I'll still be here

And I guess I'll forgive you
And I guess that I'll let you stay
And I guess I'll still love you
Well I guess that I'm crazy that way
And I guess that you're love so right
Will make up for those lonely nights
And I guess I won't feel the pain as we love again
I'll let you hold my heart in your hand
And I'll love you while I can

And you'll call me on Monday, we'll make plans for Tuesday
Tuesday comes, you won't show.

JAN walks away from center stage, CAROLE remains, "sleeping".  HENRY enters, getting dressed for a business day, and sings "Best Twenty Minutes"

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTwKTwkBkwg&feature=youtu.be

I've been on the road since January and I've seen a lot of Holiday Inns
Made me a little money in my work
Travelling sales can be awful demanding and the last thing I really need
Is some dumb gin soaked honey calling me a jerk.

I've given you the best twenty minutes of my life, baby
So how come you insist upon making me crazy
Filling up my motel room with all your sorrow?
Just close your eyes now, try not to weep
I'm sorry if I called you the wrong name in my sleep
Promise to buy you a real nice breakfast tomorrow.

I'll be leaving for Little Rock in the morning, Shreveport the day after that
But I got your email address and I promise to write
It was an awful good pleasure to make your acquaintance and you might feel better to know
I'll probably call somebody else your name tomorrow night

 I've given you the best twenty minutes of my life, baby
So how come you insist upon making me crazy
Filling up my motel room with all your sorrow?
Just close your eyes now, try not to weep
I'm sorry if I called you the wrong name in my sleep
Promise to buy you a real nice breakfast tomorrow.
HENRY and CAROLE move away from center stage to join the others as BILL comes downstage center to address the audience for his monologue:

BILL:

• My name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait)  There's not much to say about what it was like.  I drank, a lot.  My main contact with the outside world was my daily trips to the convenience store for more beer.  I never thought about whether I wanted to drink , or whether I liked to drink.  I just drank.  I didn't really eat much, or change my clothes very often.  Sometimes I would run out of money before the monthly check came, and that would get scary.  I'd start seeing things.  My brother came to see me during one of those spells and convinced me I was killing myself.  He got me to my first meeting, and I got sober.  The first few weeks were sort of a fog, but the next thing I knew I was starting to get chips for two months and three months of sobriety.  After about a year I was able to go back to work again.  As far as tonight's topic, sex has never been very important in my life.  I did find, though, that very often me being sober interfered with my relationships.  It was hard for people who were drinking to accept the fact that I wasn't.  And let's face it, a lot of guys you meet in gay bars drink too much.  So I tried to hide my sobriety.  I realized with John, though, that I had a chance for a real relationship, so I let him know.  When he decided he wanted to stop drinking, I didn't push him.  He had to do it for himself, and not for me.  But I helped him and supported him, because I knew having a good sober relationship would help keep me sober.  And I had a feeling, from the first night I met John, that this relationship might be special.  It took him a while to believe I could be sincere, though.  He had a lot to learn about trusting.

BILL lies down, JOHN enters and sits, with BILL's head in his hands, smoothing BILL's hair as he sings. 

JOHN sings "Scrapbooks"

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXYOV7nhXhA&feature=youtu.be

I'll sing softly now, I'll sing slowly now
I'll sing love songs to your eyes
Rivers flowing now, meadows growing now
Dandelion fluff in the skies
You should listen now
Lie quiet and watch me
How I try to share a feeling that is true

Scrapbooks of your past
Pressed flowers and photographs
Add a page for the day I touched you.

Babies in the night, candles burning bright
Time for you to go to sleep
Angels in the sky reach to help you fly
Too real to lose, to frail to keep
You should close your eyes
And till the morning skies
I'll stay beside, to see your dream trips through

Scrapbooks of your past
Pressed flowers and photographs
Add a page for the day I touched you

Would you care to stop by again?
Would you care to be my friend?
Would you care to be my love?
Or would you care?  Would you care?

Scrapbooks of your past
Pressed flowers and photographs
At least add a page for the day I touched you. 

JOHN
      And that was 30 years ago.  We've been together ever since, through good times and bad. 

JOHN and BILL go back to the others, RONNY comes forward for her "monologue"

RONNY:
      My name is Ronny and I'm an alcoholic.  (Sings "Miles to Go" directly to the audience)

Or can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChDyOPvRA14&feature=youtu.be

High school yearbook, Senior year
Beneath our pictures did appear
A favorite quote that we did choose
Words of wisdom we would use

Karen chose a Bible verse
Lee chose humor, quick and terse
As if I knew what life would cost
I chose these words by Robert Frost.

But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.

I sang in Athens, and Atlanta
A theme park up in Cincinnati
A Georgia coast resort hotel
Then Panama City knew me well
The first Gay Pride in New Orleans
Then Birmingham, between drag queens.
Hollywood, Palm Springs, Reno
Austin, Omaha, still I'd go

For I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.

I've written songs, I've written plays
Sometimes love has filled my days
I've made good friends and watched them die
I've prayed to God and asked him why

And now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
I pray tomorrow I'll still live
And have another day to give
And now I take my AZT
And wonder what will come of me
I hope a cure may soon be found
Before we're all beneath the ground

For I have promises to keep
And miles to go, before I sleep
And miles to go, before I sleep.

RONNY:
      I have AIDS.  I haven't told the group yet. 

As RONNY walks back to the group, BOB starts talking

BOB:
      I want to thank everybody for sharing tonight.  It's been a good meeting for me.  There are no dues or fees, but we do pass the baskets.  While they are going around, does anyone else want to share?  No?  OK does anybody want to get a desire chip, showing that you have a desire to stop drinking?

Everyone looks at JO

JO:
      I think I better get one of those.  I'm going through a lot right now.  I'm going to need all of you to help me get through it

ALL:  (all at the same time, while applauding)
     Keep coming back!  We are here for you! I'll give you my phone number! etc.

JO:
      Thanks everybody

BOB: 
      We close our meetings with the Lord's prayer.  Jo, would you like to lead us this time?

JO:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come.....

(Fades out, music starts for "Blessing" to segue into Act II)

End of Act I

2. Act I, scene 1

OPEN DISCUSSION

Book, lyrics and music by Harry C.S.Wingfield

Characters:

• Bob: The "class clown"
• John: Fairly new to AA, in a relationship with Bill
• Bill:  Has been in recovery for some time, in a relationship with John
• Ronny: A cabaret singer, could be female or male or somewhere in between
• Henry: Travelling salesperson.  Was written for a male to play, but was later changed to a female.  This seemed to work much better for the character.    
• Carole:  Has been in the program for a while, but has trouble staying on track.  On and off relationship with Jan
• Jan: Carole's sometime partner, also has "enabler" issues
• Jo: Newcomer to AA

All action takes place in a meeting room of a fictional "Lambda" (LGBT) group of Alcoholics Anonymous, although as the characters share their stories we "see" other places and times.  There are three acts, with several months/years passing between each act.

Act I, Scene 1

Scene opens with the full cast on stage, singing "Blessing (us)"

 

Spirit of love, surround us.
Spirit of joy, sustain us.
Spirit of hope, call us onward.
Spirit of life, bring us home.
Spirit of life, bring us home.

or at http://youtu.be/X7WjP0Xzkgo

JOHN walks into a spotlight downstage center.  The rest of the cast exits or moves to the side.  JOHN addresses the audience directly.   NOTE: This should be "upbeat".

JOHN:

• My name is John and I'm an alcoholic.  (Waits a beat)  Oh, maybe some of you have never been to a meeting before.  One of the things we do in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings is to introduce ourselves every time we speak, and identify our addiction.  Then the rest of the group responds with "Hi, John," or "Hi, George," whatever the case may be.  I don't know why we do that, but it always makes me more comfortable if everyone has said "Hi" to me.  SOOOOO, My name is John and I'm an alcoholic.  (Wait for response)  Thanks!  The members of the Lambda group each agreed to give an "open talk" tonight.  That's where a person tells about how they got into AA how their life is different now.  I volunteered to go first.  I tend to do things first, anyway.  I was the first one in my class at school to start drinking.  I was the first one to get a fake I.D. so we could drink Ripple under the bleachers at the football games.  That's the only reason I went.  HATED football.  BIG family confrontations about football.  My Dad was really upset when I said I wasn't going out for the team.  Mama prayed about me, said I should quit being rebellious.  It made me laugh.  I laughed, I drank, and I left home.  But after a couple of years here in the city, the laughing stopped. I kept getting asked to leave bars because I was crying. No reason, just crying.  I didn't really have any friends.  Then I met this guy named Bill.  I gave him my phone number, but I really didn't expect to see him again.  But he did call, and kept calling.  He seemed to care.  I didn't notice he didn't drink until we had been out a few times.  I was so shocked that somebody wanted to do things like go to movies or out to dinner, I didn't notice that he was always ordering diet Pepsi or club soda.  When I asked him about it, he said he belonged to AA.  I was horrified!  He didn't look like an alcoholic.  Then I realized - I did.  So I went to a meeting with him.  At the end of the meeting, they asked who wanted a "desire chip" to show a desire to stop drinking.  I wasn't sure if I was an alcoholic or not, but not drinking suddenly sounded like a really good idea.  It was after I stopped that I knew I was an alcoholic.  I shook for a week.  Bill stayed with me, and got me through it.  Since I've been sober, I can't believe how my life has turned around.  I have friends.  Bill and I started the Lambda Group for gay and lesbian alcoholics.  It's still pretty small, but it's a really supportive group.  I find it helpful to be in a meeting where I can be honest about who I am, without worrying about judgments.  I'm happy now.  I never thought I would feel this good.

JO enters.  Lights down on JOHN, up on JO.  JO is disheveled and bruised. 

JO sings "Phoenix (verse 1)"

Or view at : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjKfCuJ6wNM&list=HL1371401970

Today the road is long
And I feel so far from home
I've got to turn my life around, but I can't do it on my own
I leave old pains behind me
As I search for something new
As I look to find the strength I need
To do what I must do. 

JO mimes dialing a phone.  Sound of ring tone off stage. 

HENRY:  (voice offstage) 
      Hello?  Alcoholics Anonymous.  This is Henry and I'm an alcoholic.

JO: 
      Can somebody help me?

Lights down on JO.  Ronnie enters into a stage spotlight, in an evening gown, gloves and tiara.  CAROLE sits nearby, as her "audience". (possibly with other cast members)

OFFSTAGE VOICE:
      Ladies and gentlemen, Miss RONNIE ROSS!

RONNIE: 
      Thank you, thank you, I love you so much, thank you!
Sings "Stages"

or view at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vC4mkF4vUs&feature=youtu.be

When you reach up from your table and I take your hand (taking CAROLE's hand briefly)
I hope you understand, I do care.  (turns to face the audience)
And when you wake me in the morning with a kiss so sweet,
Please don't feel incomplete if I'm only halfway there
When you miss the little secrets other lovers would have told
When you think I could not love you or I wouldn't be so cold
Realize my limitations, and the chains that have a hold on my soul.

I live my life from stages, and I give my love to microphones (thank you, thank you!)
All the joys and all the rages, the feelings I can't share with you alone
There are things I just can't talk about
Singing is the only way that I can let them out
So if you wonder why I'm silent when I'm blue
It isn't you
It's just a stage I'm going through

(thank you so much, it's so good to see all of you tonight)

Communication is a gift that's only halfway mine
I can sing a song just fine, when words can't explain
And when my emotions run a little bit too strong
I release them in my song, so I can't complain
So perfect strangers in the audience are given special views
Perfect strangers know our secrets when they read them in the news
Perfect strangers sometimes find the love that isn't mine to lose
It belongs to you.

But I live my life from stages....

Lights down on RONNIE, up on JAN and CAROLE

CAROLE:
      I said I was sorry.

JAN:
      And I'm sorry you're sorry.  Sorry just won't do any more.  If you want this relationship to continue, there will have to be some changes made.

CAROLE:
      Like what?

JAN:
      Like BEING HERE.  And not just in body, but in your head, too.  I'm not picking up the pieces after your binges any more.  Covering for you, lying to your boss...

CAROLE:
      My boss is an asshole.

JAN: 
      And probably for good reason.  You probably tell people I'm an asshole, too.  (look)  Yes I thought so.  OK, get yourself cleaned up before one of the neighbors sees you in the window.  I don't care what they say about you any more, but unfortunately it damages my reputation, too.  It's bad for my business.  Image is everything.

CAROLE:
      Screw your image.

JAN:
      Not any more, you won't.  Carole, I love you, but I have to love myself, too.  You've got to realize that.  Now I'm going to the store to close up, and then I'm going to the meeting.  Will I see you there?

CAROLE:
      I get it.  This is a test. 

JAN:
      Well, it's your first opportunity to show whether you are willing to grow up and be an adult.  Getting to meetings on a regular basis is the one thing you have NOT tried.  Nothing else that you have tried seems to be keeping you sober.  Besides, you signed up to do coffee tonight, remember? (exits)

CAROLE:
      Shit!

Lights down on CAROLE, up on BOB as he enters and sees that he is the first to arrive, and no one has started the coffee.

BOB:
      Shit!  Carole was supposed to start the coffee.  And now Henry's going to bitch at ME when it's not ready.  (exits, quickly)

Lights up on JO, still talking on the telephone

JO:
      I'll be all right.  Really.  I'm just so scared.  (pause)  Right.  Eight o'clock.  I'll be there.  (pause)  Right.  Back door, down the stairs to the basement.  You'll be there?  (pause)  No, I won't care.  That's the last thing on my mind.  But will it be all right for me to be there?  (pause)  You're sure?  (pause)  Well, that's all I want is some help with my drinking.  (pause)  Right.  STOP drinking.  Maybe if I stop drinking he'll stop hitting me.  (pause)  And your name is Henry?  (pause)  Is that short for something?  (pause)  It's just not a usual name for a woman, that's all.  (pause)  Eight o'clock.  Thank you so much.

Lights down on JO, up on BOB, setting the chairs for the meeting, humming "Blessing" to himself.  Enter CAROLE

BOB:
      Don't just stand there, help with the chairs.  (seeing her)  What happened now?

CAROLE:
      (starting to cry) I'm sorry

BOB: 
      What's wrong, honey?

CAROLE:
      I screwed up.  Again.

BOB:
      Did you drink?

CAROLE nods

BOB:
      A lot?

CAROLE nods

BOB:
      And Jan found out.

CAROLE: 
      She found me passed out on her front porch.  Bob, she's going to throw me out again if I don't shape up.  I don't know what to do.

BOB:
      Carole, do you want to stop drinking?  (CAROLE chokes a sob)  Honey, this program only works if you want to stop.  You've got to do more than show up, you've got to work it.  If you've had enough of all this, maybe something can start changing. Have you had enough?  (CAROLE nods)  Are you ready to start doing some things to stay sober?  (CAROLE nods)  Actually working the steps?  (CAROLE nods)  Ninety meetings in ninety days?  (Carole groans)  Carole, honey, do you want to stop drinking?

CAROLE:
      OK, OK, ninety meetings in ninety days.  And I'll really work on the steps this time. 

BOB:
      And you'll start calling me?

CAROLE:
      Yes

BOB:
      BEFORE you take that first drink?

CAROLE nods, they hug.

BOB:
      It's gonna be OK

Enter HENRY

HENRY:
      Hey, ya'll!  What's shaking?  Jesus, kid, it can't be that bad! (mouths the words "is she all right?" to BOB.  BOB nods, mimes drinking, they both shrug)  Well kid, I'm back in town if you need to talk.  You know I met somebody in Memphis who could have been your twin.  (heading offstage)  Spitting image.  GODDAMMIT!  Why isn't the coffee ready?

Light down on other characters, up on JAN.  JAN enters to downstage center, addressing the audience. 

JAN:

• My name is Jan and I'm an alcoholic.  (wait for response)  And the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says we're supposed to tell what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now.  So that's what I'll do.  I'm also an al-anon.  Both of my parents drank, heavily.  There was no way for me to please them.  So I spent most of my childhood trying to be perfect, making straight "A"s, keeping my room clean, bringing flowers from the woods for my father, anything to get their approval.  But it never came.  I always had nice things.  Things.  The best private schools, the best nannies, everything but their love.  At Radcliffe I met a young woman who seemed to love me.  But I always saw love as something I should give, not something I deserved to get.  At my debutante parties I was introduced to champagne.  Mother showed me how much a proper girl should drink.  Then the other debutantes introduced me to marijuana, and showed me how much a proper girl could get stoned.  I learned how to stay slightly buzzed or drunk all the time with no one noticing a thing, just thinking I was a dizzy little coed.  Dizzy was right!  Then the mistakes started, the auto wrecks, the time I woke up in Seattle and didn't know how I got there.  I let my mother catch me with another woman in bed, thinking maybe that would get a rise out of her, get some attention, but she just shrugged and said if that's what I wanted to do, just make sure they were from good families.  So I moved away, to start my own life.  I opened my dress shop with money my father sent me, kept a bottle hidden in the stock room.  About five years later the blackouts started.  I would find myself in the store in the same clothes I had worn the day before, and not know whether I had been home the night before, or to someone else's home, or if I had stayed there in the store.  The doctor put me on valium to calm my nerves.  I "forgot" I wasn't supposed to drink on top of them.  I have no idea what happened next.  A nurse in the emergency room told me in very blunt language what I looked like when I was brought in, and where the police had found me.  Asleep in a dumpster!  The Big Book says we should not regret the past.  I don't relish the thought that I did those things, but I'm glad I'm not condemned to keep repeating them.   The nurse gave me this little card, with the creed of Alcoholics Anonymous on it, and said she would be back to talk with me later.  I guess she must have seen the picture of Carole and me that I carry with my ID cards in my wallet, because she brought John with her and he told me about the Lambda group.  I had never talked openly about my sexuality, but I was so low, so beaten, that I thought I would try anything to get better.  I did get better.  And I'm still getting better.  There are some new issues in my life that I'm dealing with, but the program is showing me how.  Right now I'm learning that I am powerless over other people's alcohol as well as my own.  I'm learning how to detach, to let go, and to show some "tough love" so that I don't enable someone close to me to continue in an addiction that hurts both of us.  (looks at watch)  Well, I'm going to be late to the meeting, and I really need one tonight.  It's been a difficult day.  Thanks for listening. 

Lights down on JAN, up on BOB, CAROLE and HENRY.

HENRY:
      I got a call from someone this afternoon when I was working the phones at central office.  She's coming tonight.  She's straight.

BOB:
      You invited a straight woman here?

HENRY:
      I gave her the score.  She sounded desperate.  She lives near here, and I wanted her to know that somebody cared, so I told her to come and I would introduce her to some NICE people.  We don't know for a fact that Ronny is gay, do we?  Shoot, I'm not even sure of Ronny's gender.  Besides, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.  Right Carole?

CAROLE:
      That's what I keep hearing.  But you remember, she's straight, and a newcomer.

HENRY:
      Hey, I get enough of that on the road.  In here, I'm a nun.

BOB:
      And I'm Princess Diana.

End of scene 1